Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize