Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
