Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize