our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
