i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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