you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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