she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
