i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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