Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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