this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
