youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
