how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
