I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
