I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize