Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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