I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
