after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
