i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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