Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
And then he peed in my hair
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