HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
