I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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