just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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