i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize