He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
