Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
