Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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