doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
