he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
