You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
