the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
