New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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