dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
