sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize