just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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