when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
