This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
