dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think weed is turning my hair brown
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
