do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
