Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
