my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
