I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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