GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
