the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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