My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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