just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i permit you to call me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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