new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
