you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize