im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
