drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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