apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
