Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm jealous of your bromance
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
