Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
