How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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