so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize