im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
then he tried to convert me to islam
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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